The BIG day!

I woke up at 7:20 a.m. and took my basal body temp as I’ve been doing for months.  The thermometer beeped and I did a double-take.  Day 34…97.7?  That can’t be right.  I’m 41, doing all kinds of work ups for the fertility specialist, and had two days of lower temps below my cover line.  So, just to rule it out, and totally not expecting it, I took a pregnancy test.  I had to dig it out from the bottom bathroom cabinet.  I was trying to be quiet as my husband was asleep downstairs, fighting a bad cold by trying to sleep on the couch.  My two cats were in the bathroom with me, pawing at the water that I always turn on for them to take turns sipping.  I dug out my little plastic cup, all while doing the potty dance, and finally got my sample collected.  I got up, took the test from the plastic wrapper, and dipped it in counting to 20.  The little timer began to flash, so I replaced the cap and set the test flat on the counter.  I didn’t read any instructions as I’ve probably done 12 of these already.  So I grabbed my toothbrush and just started my normal morning routine.

I kind of ignored the test, as I was just doing it to figure out why my period was so late.  I was having a little brown discharge and I really felt like it was coming – for several days – I even had some attenion-grabbing cramping.  I had searched on the web to see if other women had irregular periods following an HSG, and many, many had.  I had my HSG on December 23, 2014.  They found my left tube was mostly blocked so they repositioned me (hurt like hell) and pushed the contrast through to open it.  The test was certainly painful and I spotted for a day following it.  My husband and I also refrained from two nights that I was hoping for some special intimacy: Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  However, on December 26th, we did enjoy the holidays – so to say.  It was post HSG, and on the last possible day that I should have, according to my BBTs, been fertile.  I really didn’t think about conceiving at all.  We had fertility appointments and additional testing set up, so I was all geared up for going down the IVF road.  I was told that I have a possible fibroid or polyp in the upper left quadrant of the uterus.  The fertility facility was scheduling a saline ultrasound and potential procedure to remove the “slight irregularity.”  I was told to call in with Day 1 of my upcoming cycle, so I had been continuing to temp, waiting for the drop and subsequent start of Aunt Flo.

Day 29, 30, 31, 32, 33 came and went.  On Day 32, I had a little dip, not like my previous charts would show when I would plummet into hypothermic ranges getting temps of 94.9.  This was just a little drop from 97.2-97.7 in my leutal phase, to 96.6, which is in the middle of my 95.2-96.3 range for the follicular phase.  The next day I was at 96.3.  Today I was back at 97.7, totally healthy, no mild fever.  So that made me want to do the home pregnancy test.

Hence, when the test’s timer stopped flashing and the result popped on the little digital screen, I did another double take.

It said “Pregnant 1-2 weeks”

My heart leapt and I exhaled, “Oh my God!  This can’t be happening!”  The cats rushed out of the bathroom as they probably sensed some major shift in my being.  Cats can do that.  I looked at it again and then the next few minutes are now already a blur.  I think it went like this:

I believe that I hesitated and looked at myself in the mirror.  I wondered if I was actually just dreaming a really vivid dream.  Then, when I realized I wasn’t, I wondered if I should tell my husband.  He was fast asleep and it was still dark.  I held the test and looked even closer…and I knew I had to share this with him – now.

I palmed the test in my right hand and went downstairs.  He was sleeping.  I said, “Babe?” He stirred.  I tried to wake him again, “Babe?  Can you sit up?”  He grumbled and asked, “What’s wrong.”  I replied, “Nothing, I just need you to sit up.  Where is the light controller?”  (We have a little remote for the family room lights).  I gave up trying to find the remote and just outstretched my hand with the test in it.  I said, “This says I’m pregnant.”  I sat down on the edge of the couch and we looked at the test, even though it was too dark to read the screen.  “I know it is really early and there is a big possibility that it may not work out, but oh my God!”  He was quiet and I was desperately trying to read his face.  “Are you happy?” I asked.  “Yes,” he said and I leaned into him a little more.  “I really happy too,” I said and began to cry some happy tears.

Again, the morning is a blur as I was (and still am) pretty overwhelmed.  We enjoyed a breakfast (I had to look up if I could eat bacon) and I retrieved a pregnancy book that someone had given me when they knew I was starting fertility.  I sat down in the recliner and just thumbed through it.  I am at the stage where the embryo has implanted (hopefully in the right place) and God willing I’m just 34-35 weeks away from holding our baby.  That is really stunning and most certainly a miracle!  We are looking at a possible September due date!  That is one of my favorite months!

My OB-GYN had called me on Thursday to check in.  I had told him that we were working with the fertility doctor.  He said, “call me when you’re pregnant then.”  I laughed a little and said, “Thanks, I hope I can call you soon.”  He said, “Good luck.”  I can’t believe that I will be calling him back just a short four days after that conversation!

We visited the not-yet-aware and hopefully-will-be grandparents and aunt for a Sunday afternoon hangout.  I soaked in the family.  They are a good family, and I was smiling inside as I thought about how great they will be if we do cross the birth finish line.

I am also so aware of the odds against me.  I have age, obesity, hypothyroidism, anemia, and malabsorption issues.  I know that I’m high, high risk.  I know that there is a very significant possibility that there may be some hard times in the immediate future.  But, I also know, and truly believe, that my husband and I are blessed and have angels looking out for us.  I really do think that we can pray on this and trust that we have the very best support and resources to see this through safely and successfully.  We are going to be okay, no matter what.  We have each other.  We have great family.  We have our angels.

So tonight, I’ll go to sleep and say another prayer.  I’ll thank my angels and I’ll ask for guidance, strength, and health – for my family.  It is actually pretty powerful typing “my family” since now I mean my husband, myself, and our baby (and three felines).  This is certainly an amazing, amazing day!  I hope that I can better remember it once it all settles in.  Right now, I just need to really remember my vitamins and drink more water!

 

 

 

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