I went to Immediate Care on Saturday. The benefit of that is that I know I do not have a UTI. It took me an hour to pee. I continue to drink, but not much pee seems to come out. It is just a little. My blood pressure was up: 148/84, which was probably due to pain. They could not do an ultrasound to tell me that #4 is okay. They can’t scan my back as I can’t be exposed to x-rays. I can’t take muscle relaxants or more powerful medicine. It is just crazy that my back is still so bad. I felt a little better this morning so I did some dishes, hung up some clothes, and vacuumed a tiny bit upstairs. When I was done with that I was right back to seizing sharp pain. I am not sure how in the world I will get through my a.m. lessons. I doubt it if I can, but I am going to try.
I can’t tell if resting is helping or hurting me. The doc at Immediate Care said to rest, heat, and take tylenol. I refuse to take the tylenol as I tried it and I got no relief, so I am not going to put extra medicine in me. I do the heating pad, on my back only, and I really hope that I am not cooking the little dude. I don’t feel pregnant. No nausea, no sore boobs, no food aversions…just back pain. I am fatigued, but that is because I can’t get comfortable in any position and waking up throughout the night sucks because it takes so much effort and hurts so bad to go to the bathroom that I end up wide awake from it.
I had lots of little red bumps going on. The doc said they are pinpoint hives and it looks like I am still having an allergic reaction of some kind.
As my husband says, I am a “mess.” I feel like a mess. I am so afraid for the Wednesday ultrasound. This was the point in the last pregnancy when things didn’t show as normal and it was a couple of weeks later when I lost that one. I am just so fearful since I don’t have all of the progesterone support that I am supposed to be getting.
So it is Sunday night. The Olympics are coming to an end. It seems strange that if everything works out, I may have a 3 year old the next time swimmers and gymnasts are competing in prime time for gold medals. I really, really hope that is the case.
I need to hold on to hope because this unceasing pain and veering from the course of typical FET treatment is quickly drowning me in worry and fear. I just really hope that I feel better soon, that I can get a handle on the house, that my husband and I feel connected despite our not having any intimacy at all for so long, and that #4 is our miracle baby. Fingers crossed that tomorrow goes well and I get through it okay. Tuesday is a lighter day, so I will aim for that.