Not getting better

I went to Immediate Care on Saturday.  The benefit of that is that I know I do not have a UTI.  It took me an hour to pee.  I continue to drink, but not much pee seems to come out.  It is just a little.  My blood pressure was up: 148/84, which was probably due to pain.  They could not do an ultrasound to tell me that #4 is okay.  They can’t scan my back as I can’t be exposed to x-rays.  I can’t take muscle relaxants or more powerful medicine.  It is just crazy that my back is still so bad.  I felt a little better this morning so I did some dishes, hung up some clothes, and vacuumed a tiny bit upstairs.  When I was done with that I was right back to seizing sharp pain.  I am not sure how in the world I will get through my a.m. lessons.  I doubt it if I can, but I am going to try.

I can’t tell if resting is helping or hurting me.  The doc at Immediate Care said to rest, heat, and take tylenol.  I refuse to take the tylenol as I tried it and I got no relief, so I am not going to put extra medicine in me.  I do the heating pad, on my back only, and I really hope that I am not cooking the little dude.  I don’t feel pregnant.  No nausea, no sore boobs, no food aversions…just back pain.  I am fatigued, but that is because I can’t get comfortable in any position and waking up throughout the night sucks because it takes so much effort and hurts so bad to go to the bathroom that I end up wide awake from it.

I had lots of little red bumps going on.  The doc said they are pinpoint hives and it looks like I am still having an allergic reaction of some kind.

As my husband says, I am a “mess.”  I feel like a mess.  I am so afraid for the Wednesday ultrasound.  This was the point in the last pregnancy when things didn’t show as normal and it was a couple of weeks later when I lost that one.  I am just so fearful since I don’t have all of the progesterone support that I am supposed to be getting.

So it is Sunday night.  The Olympics are coming to an end.  It seems strange that if everything works out, I may have a 3 year old the next time swimmers and gymnasts are competing in prime time for gold medals.  I really, really hope that is the case.

I need to hold on to hope because this unceasing pain and veering from the course of typical FET treatment is quickly drowning me in worry and fear.  I just really hope that I feel better soon, that I can get a handle on the house, that my husband and I feel connected despite our not having any intimacy at all for so long, and that #4 is our miracle baby.  Fingers crossed that tomorrow goes well and I get through it okay.  Tuesday is a lighter day, so I will aim for that.

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2 thoughts on “Not getting better

  1. Have you ever had kidney stones? The back pain and the lack of peeing are signs of them. I have had them a few times before including one time this pregnancy at 10 weeks. Since I had had them before and knew what the pain was they admitted me and treated me with oral narcotics and IV fluids until I passed the stone. I didn’t have any X-rays or CTs to confirm. Baby is doing great on all scans and doesn’t appear to have cared one bit that I had kidney stones. I also had a reaction to the progesterone during my FET. I was on Crinone and after being on it for three weeks it caused my cervix to swell up and protrude from my vagina. Sorry for the imagery but that is how bad the reaction was. They immediately stopped it and baby boy has been fine. Keep your head up! Praying for good news on Wednesday. I am sorry you are in so much pain. Hopefully the doctor on Wednesday can help some. Don’t be too afraid of modern medicine either. For me with the narcotics, the benefits of taking them outweighed the risk of the stress the pain was putting on my body and in turn putting on the baby.

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    1. Wow, no I haven’t had kidney stones. I wouldn’t have even thought of that. Thank you and so sorry you suffered from that. Your allergic reaction sounds terrible. I am so so happy that your baby has been so strong through it all. I hope my dude can be too. I am so grateful for your help. All the best!

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