I may have spoken/written too soon. Yesterday was an utter nightmare.
I had experienced a very stressful day at work. I was in full-on power-through mode, which is when I just buckle down and work my ass off. I was on my feet running around, on and off the court, for seven hours straight. I knew around 2 p.m. that I wasn’t feeling well. I felt flushed and a little dizzy. I also lifted some things, nothing that I thought was too heavy, and I reached for some trophies that were up high on a shelf. That made a strange pulling sensation in my abdomen. I didn’t think anything of it. I was just tired, hungry, and stressed. I left work a smidge before 4 and was talking to “Four” (the working name for the baby) on my drive home. I said that I was sorry for all the stress and that we would take it easy now that my weekend had arrived.
I sat down in the recliner and was sipping some water while doing online shopping for maternity clothes. The husband decided that it was time to get something for dinner, my 5 p.m vitamin alarm had just sounded, and when I stood up from the recliner I sensed a pop and felt a warm gush. I stuck my hand there, and when I pulled it away I was covered in blood. I said, “Oh my God. I am bleeding…bad” and my husband froze. I went into the powder room bathroom and pulled my pants down and saw right away bright red blood running in rivers down my legs. There was a mucus-like consistency to the blood that was in the panties. All of it was bright red. I said, “We need to go to the hospital now.” He grabbed my keys, a spare towel for the car’s seat, and we drove there as quickly as we could. I started to cry and shake on the way.
He was angry. He said,”you told me how stressful today was and you pushed too much.” I said, “I really can’t take you telling me this is my fault right now. Of course I am thinking that. I just need you to be supportive and strong for me okay?” He said okay, even though it was obvious that it wasn’t. We rode in silence. I prayed and prayed…please, please, please God….please.
When we pulled up to ER, we did valet parking so that the husband could fetch a wheelchair and roll me to the desk to check in. I told the registrar that I was 14 and half weeks pregnant and hemorrhaging. The ER was packed…people were in wheelchairs all over the waiting room. We waited and I tried to keep myself together. Finally we were taken back to get vitals and answer screening questions. I noticed my hands were still covered in dried blood and there was globs of rusty blood spots on my cell phone. After doing the vitals we went back out to the waiting room as there weren’t any rooms available. After about 20 mins, we were taken to a room that had been freshly cleaned – it smelled like 20 bottles of bleach were used in there…and they probably needed to do that when I left. Anyway, I changed into a gown and then the nightmare of not being able to get an IV site working or being able draw enough blood for tests started.
The nurse began by doing three different attempts. She finally got a line in on the top of my right hand. While all of this was happening I started to shiver and shake uncontrollably. It was nuts. My legs were just jerking up and down. The nurse didn’t seem to think that was bad. She hooked up a flush to the IV and attempted to push fluids…it stung, burn, and just hurt like hell. She thought the site would be ok, so she hooked up the saline drip to the IV and then tried to get a blood draw site. That was a no go. She sent in a different nurse who looked a places and tried to find a vein…she gave me a warm pack and left. We never saw her again. The doctor came in and said that she would do a pelvic exam and then send me for an ultrasound. While she was in there, the nurse and another guy came in to try and do another blood draw. She said she would wait for that and be back. The guy went all over my arms, wrists, and hands to look for a site. With all of the needles and blood my husband was turning white, experiencing a cold sweat and was on the verge of passing out. He calmed down and got his color back, so I sent him to the hallway while the male nurse was trying to get blood out of me. It is good my husband wasn’t in the room. My right hand site blew out, and I started to drip blood of of there. He took that IV out and there was a bubble of fluid built up in my wrist. Then he started an IV on an inside tiny vein on my left hand. It was painful, but it was working. Then he used a butterfly to draw blood into a needle from a tiny and equally painful vein on the side of my right wrist. It was slow going, and the blood flow to the needle slowed at times. But, finally he got enough that he could inject into the test tubes. I was also given 4 mg of morphine to help calm me down. That helped with the shaking.
The doctor came back and set up for her pelvic exam. The husband moved up by my shoulders and just kept his hand gently on my head. She had me lift up so that she could slide a little wedge under my butt. Then she put in the speculum. She examined me and then said that I will feel the blood rushing out as she removed the speculum because it was all pooled up in there. That is exactly what happened…a big gush. The good news was that my cervix was still closed. The bad news was that I was still bleeding a lot and I was going on three hours of that. Originally they were going to put a catheter in me, but the I had gotten enough IV fluid that my bladder was full. We got wheeled to the ultrasound room. I really had to pee, so I was happy when the ultrasound tech showed up to start the exam. She was very nice. She didn’t say anything as she did the abdominal part. She took the pics she needed and then let me go to the bathroom. When I sat up, a lot of blood gushed out of me. Again, it was running down my legs. I waddled to the bathroom and peed – which felt so much better. I left drips of blood in the bathroom. My husband told me that while I was in the bathroom she needed to mop up the floor from where I stood up and change out the bedliner pad that I soaked through. I came out and got back on the bed. She helped to clean up the blood from my legs and inside thighs. Everything smelled like blood and antiseptic. Then she continued with more of the abdominal exam. She muttered, “he keeps jumping around.” It was then that I let out a sigh…Four was still alive and squirming around from the pressure of the scan. I said, “I won’t say that you said that.” She smiled. I said, “I also wouldn’t say anything if you told us a number…like a heart rate?” She smiled, “One fifty seven.” She was warming up to us. She had to do an internal scan in order to check the cervix. While she was scanning the cervix Four pushed one of his feet right there and we could all clearly see a perfectly formed little baby foot. Right as we were enjoying the view, he jumped away. That was great…Four was alive and that made me feel better despite all of the blood.
We thanked her and got wheeled back to the room. The nurse popped in and said that the results would take about 45 mins to be read. Then my sister-in-law showed up with fresh pants and underpants for me. She had been to our house to get my husband’s phone, a charger, clean clothes for me…and she added some water and a stuffed animal…she is THE BEST! She came over and gave me a hug and we were all teary-eyed at her awesomeness to be there for us. She has a heart of gold! We were all just talking when the doctor came in to say that the ultrasound showed a viable intrauterine pregnancy. She said the diagnosis is “threatened miscarriage” and that I need to stay on pelvic rest and follow up with my OB. I asked if there was a subchorionic hematoma. She said that the ultrasound didn’t show that. She explained that it was just a bad bleed and that there is no reason for it and not much to do to fix it. I need to rest, drink a lot of water, and follow up. Before I got dressed, I went to the bathroom. The blood was a lot less and I didn’t see any clots. That was reassuring. It was so great to get the inside wrist IV out. Those suckers hurt like crazy. I put on the hospital underwear and pad as I knew I could just throw them out later. We headed out to the security desk, as the valet had just closed. The husband and sis went to the parking garage and I sat to wait. I didn’t wait long and finally saw the hubby pull up. I went out and he came around to help me in the car. He drove carefully, making sure that the bumps were as gentle as possible. I cried a little because I was just overwhelmed, thirsty, and so tired. When we got home, I crawled into bed and while he was taking care of the pets, I called my mom and dad. I told them how afraid I was and I continued to cry. They asked if I needed anything and I said no. I was just going to sleep and rest a lot. The husband came in and gave me a hug and kiss. He told me to try and relax. He laid down next to me and we were just quiet together. It was so crazy and that was not at all anything that I had prepared for…and now each time I go to pee I hold my breath for a moment to make sure there is not blood there. Man that worry is awful.
I slept decently. I have yet to tell my two bosses that I will need some down time. I need to send that email next. Yikes. I am so worried that I will be punished for not being healthy enough to be reliable. I am worried about the money, but in the moments of all that fear last night my greatest worry was losing the baby. So if I need to adjust things, I will. I just hope that they are okay and understanding. So that is my next move. My husband has to work tonight so my parents are coming over to bring me soup and hang out with me until he comes home at 10 p.m. Tomorrow he will be away again, so hopefully I will be ok. I will call the OB on Monday and see what the plan is. We are still considered in at an in-between state right now. Hopefully I am part of the statistic where 50% of threatened miscarriages go on to deliver a baby. I am so hopeful for that. We are at 15 weeks tomorrow. I can just keep praying and trying to stay calm and peaceful.
What a scare!